Genessaret

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" Matthew 14:31

Could you imagine, Jesus, God, saying this to you? With a gentle frown on his face, "ye of little faith," and then comes the loving commanding question, "why did you doubt?" What would my answer be? Looking back into the face of God. Gazing at Him on the water that night; I doubted, God, because...
the wind was blowing. i thought i could do it on my own. i was scared. i couldn't trust you. i don't love you. i'm strong enough. i can do it. i'm fearful. you're not enough. the water was above my ankle. i got distracted. i was on my own. Andrew was laughing. other people don't believe in You. i'm enough. you're not enough. can it really be. my heart was fixed upon something else. i can't give everything over to you. you are not enough. you're right in front of me, but i can't follow. i'm afraid. i love myself too much. i'm selfish. i want to be in control. are you really enough? i'm prideful. i thought i could. redo. i'm stronger. i am human. sin.
Why Lord? Why did I doubt?

I am Peter, sinking in the water, with Christ strongly looking me square in the face asking, "why did you doubt?" Again and again I try to control situations and somehow love people into loving You. With such a half hearted attempt at showing them who Christ is; I do it for myself, because that's what 'good' believers do, right? I am Peter, asking Christ, "tell me to come to you on the water." And when Christ does, and provides, I shriek, out of fright, because what or whom could be so powerful to keep me afloat? I'm walking on water! And yet, he saves me. Over and over and over again. He continues to be patient with me, His child, and shows me that He is in fact always in control. That is me. "You of little faith."

The last thing I would have thought come from her mouth would be, "I have been wanting to go back to church for a long time."

Lord, you prepared her heart. You allowed me to walk on water. You continue to open her heart to the gospel and you use me as a mouthpiece to show her what Your gospel truly means. Dying a torturous death, on a cross, crucified by our sin; defeating death to be our sacrifice, so that we can look into our loving Father's face. Father, please help me have more faith, help me not stumble and fall into the water. I know that you will always catch me. I pray that You will catch her too. Be with her throughout this time, Lord, I know she needs you right now. Allow a community to come around her and love her. Provide for her God. Open her eyes to you, Jesus. Allow me to follow You and worship You, and let your light shine, Christ.

and all who touched him were healed. Matthew 14:34